Self Censorship

I began writing in 2009. Back then I was delusional. I had this belief that I could write one book that would sell for millions and I’d never have to worry about money again. I enjoyed writing. I still enjoy it. Unfortunately, I’ve since learned that writing is the easiest part of being a writer. It’s all the other aspects that wear us down.

One of those aspects is social media. At one time its use was actually benefitual. I suppose it still is in some industries, but for the vast majority of us it’s played out. It’s all about algorithms and ads. What was once a platform where we could speak and have those connected with us read our words has since become a dreaded nightmare where we have to pay to be heard. This is in large part why I’ve moved so far from social media. I don’t even like the occasional scroll through that I use to do. Not only is it a waste of my time, but it brings me no joy. Everyone seems to be on either politics or general negativity, which brings me to the core topic of this article.

I created my Facebook account shortly after becoming an author. I used my pen name and a random profile picture as I didn’t want my face shown to the world. There are still instances where this applies but I’ve grown enough that hiding in the shadows is no longer an option. That’s neither here nor there, I simply felt the need to share. What I want to talk about is negativity.

People are always saying, “Don’t post negativity.” Don’t be negative. Don’t air your dirty laundry. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t, don’t, don’t.

The hard reality is life isn’t always pleasant. It isn’t always positive. And it’s certainly not always easy. Sometimes, it’s hard to feel anything positive whatsoever. I’ve tried to live my life by the philosophy, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. There’s a problem with this view. Or, perhaps not the view itself but a self-inflicted perversion of it.

I only recently realized that I was taking this too literal. I was understanding it as a black and white, good or bad, happy or sad. I forgot about the numerous shades of gray between both spectrums. The problem with this, I was inadvertently censoring myself. I was forcing myself to only speak when something good or happy happened. It felt wrong to speak about anything else, shaded gray or outright bad. This censorship left me feeling imprisoned and unable to express myself. I was unintentionally unhappy because I’d imprisoned myself with such a simple expression that had been subconsciously interpreted wrong.

I’m here to say, no more! I’m done being a slave to censorship. I’ve always hated it and refuse to willfully play into it, especially now that I’ve had this revelation. That’s not to say I’m going to be an insensitive asshole. I’ve always been conscientious about who I said what to and plan to retain a degree of that. I will simply not allow anyone or anything to get in the way of my own happiness. I’m only on this earth for a short time. I find it ridiculous to allow it to be tainted by something so trivial.

Welcome to the new era. If you have an issue with me or anything I say from this moment forward, bring it to me and we’ll discuss it like civilized human beings, or you can get the fuck off my page. I don’t need you.