A lack of motivation does not automatically mean you’re lazy. It can mean that. But it’s not always the case. I’m not always motivated. In fact, there are many times when I flat out don’t feel like working. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my work. I find it fun and enjoyable most of the time and I love the feeling of completing a story arc. The trouble isn’t desire. It’s that I get tired. I often feel mentally and physically drained.
Those that follow me on social media know that I’m a single parent. I’m a bit more than that actually, as I’m the only parent my child has. She’s never met her mother. She doesn’t know her name, she doesn’t know what she looks like, she doesn’t know anything about her. She knows a little more now as I’ve answered any questions she has. But a few answered questions is but a drop of information compared to the depths of who a person is.
Aside from raising my daughter, I also work a full-time job. I drive a service truck for a diesel mechanics shop, which puts me outside in the rain, heat, or snow year-round. When an eighteen-wheeler breaks down on the side of the highway, I’m one of those guys you see laying on the road to fix it while hundreds of cars are flying past at 70 mph. It’s a bit nerve wrecking, but it pays the bills for the time being. When I get off work, I’m exhausted. But my day isn’t over. I have to make sure my daughter does her homework. I have to help her to understand the things she’s learned throughout the day. I have to clean the house and make dinner. And I eventually get her to bed for the next day, hopefully at a reasonable hour. Not all of this happens as cookie cutter as it sounds. There are some days when it’s all I can do to get her to pick up her shoes, which she continuously leaves lying in the middle of the floor day after day. And once I’ve accomplished all of that, I have to find time to sit down and write. All of this was to make a point, but it seems I went on a bit of a rant there.
Anyway, I can say without worry that sometimes I find it difficult to be motivated when I finally get time to write. I often wake around 4 am in the hopes to get some writing done before the day actually starts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I do all of this knowing that one day my work will be reaching enough people to allow me to afford to pay for my house and pay all of my bills. I want to spend time with my daughter when she gets out of school, rather than being exhausted all the time. I’m confident that day will come, and I continue to strive for it. But I’m also human, I get tired after a while.
As a professional, motivation is something we have to force ourselves to work with, or without. It doesn’t matter if you feel like writing. You’re a writer, it’s your job to write. Even if it’s crap, you still have to do it. It can be fixed later. But when it’s time to write, make sure you spend that time writing. I’m sometimes guilty of not pushing as hard as I should. I sometimes need to unwind so I can get back into the headspace to grind out a bit more. But I also plan for such. I allow myself an hour here and there to do that unwinding. But always, when it’s time to write, I write.